Of course, we had to eat some over priced greasy food, and then we hit the displays of the hobby stuff.  He got to make a rope with a cute old guy, but he was more impressed with the model of a farm that some guy made.  We stopped and talked to the ladies spinnning yarn, and then I showed him all the entries by kids.  Well, that was all that took!  He was totally inspired, and he decided he wanted to enter every category, especially when he found out some categories paid winners.  I’m sure the thought of acquiring a bunch of ribbons was appealing, too.  He likes to win.

On the way to the rides, we ran into a neighbor as well as the sheriff.  I thought maybe he’d want to look at the fish and wildlife conservation building, but we were too close to the rides at that point.  When we got to the ticket booth, I inquired about a wristband, but they told me they weren’t available on Saturday.  Well, shoot!  At a buck a ride ticket, he wasn’t going to be riding much.  He wanted 40, but I bought 20, and off we went.  He spent them quickly, but I noticed several people wearing wristbands.  Uh…..really?  Assholes.  They told me no dice.

So on the way out, Garrett really wanted to try the balloon dart game.  I let him, and he got a cheapo stuffed Scooby Doo. 

When we got home, I had to print out the fair book with all of the categories he could enter, and he started creating.  He sent me to Hobby Lobby to get watercolor, acrylic, and oil paints.  When I got home, this is what I came home to:

First is “The Ring of Fire”

Then we have a greeting card:

The inside:

A drawing:

A mixed media piece:

And another painting:

And this is where I pretended I have talent.  I don’t, but it sure is fun to just create without regard to whether or not you’re actually any good.  It’s watercolor, and didn’t turn out like I had planned at all, but I don’t care.  I still enjoyed myself.

I can’t even say it looks much better in person, but I love nurturing Garrett’s creativity.  He was inspired by Van Gogh’s Starry Night in second grade.  He even has a big poster print of it above his bed.  What’s funny is he can spot a Van Gogh even if he’s never seen it before just by looking at the style and the brush strokes.  He loves art, and I love that he loves art.

It started when he was about 15 months old.  After one of his surgeries, he started refusing to sleep in his crib.  See, he has born missing the radius in both arms and missing his thumbs.  I’ll post his birth story soon, but he’s had six surgeries to correct placement of his hands and to make his first fingers into thumbs.  The surgeries started at 8 months, and at this particular one, for some reason, he just wouldn’t sleep in his crib.  I think it was because he would wake up in recovery in a crib, and I wasn’t there.  He was in pain, in a strange place, and with strange people.  It was traumatic.

I was going nuts.  He wasn’t sleeping through the night yet anyway, so this just added fuel to the fire.  His pediatrician told me to try the cry it out method.  She said to leave and walk around the block if I had to, and I reminded her that I was a single parent, but she said he’d be safe in his crib for five minutes, if that would save my sanity.  She said it would only take about a week, and he’d be back to normal.  He wasn’t.

He’d go to sleep fine, but he would always wake up after about half an hour to 45 minutes, and no matter what, he just wouldn’t stay there.  He was fine if he was with me, but in the crib, no way, Jose!  So I tried it.  First night I put him down around 8, and he screamed bloody murder until 3 AM.  I would go in periodically, and just put my hand on him for a few minutes, and then leave the room.  I kept it up, thinking each night would get better.  It never did.  I finally gave up after three weeks, and put him in a twin bed with a bed rail.  I HAD to!  It was pure survival on my part.

In the twin bed, I had to lay by him, touching him, until he fell asleep.  For a while, that worked, but it got so that it was longer and longer, and pretty soon, I gave up on the twin bed, and just put him in bed with me.  Survival, again.  I needed sleep!

Around age 3, I took him into the doctor for the anxiety.  They suspected ADHD, but they said they wouldn’t diagnose that until at least age 6.  They did indulge me a little, and had me work with a therapist on some play therapy.  Didn’t really help.

When he started kindergarten, he was still sleeping with me, but he seemed fine during the day.  No separation issues at all.  He was his typical outgoing, social self.  Only problem was he started faking being sick.  See, on the first day of kindergarten, he got stung by a bee on the playground and got sent to the nurse.  Well, that was all it took.  He struck gold!  He got attention from adults, and they called mommy who came and got him!  He was in heaven!

In the spring, his teacher called me about some disturbing pictures he drew.  Mostly violent, but also with some suggestive themes.  They had concerns, as did I.  I took him into the doctor again.  I mostly wondered if someone had touched him, but the docs didn’t think so.  He never said anything about it, even with questioning.

In first grade, he started having some behavioral issues in school.  He was mostly disruptive in class, and when that happened, he got sent to the assistant principal’s office.  Again, paydirt!  The assistant principal was this really cool youngish guy who liked sports and really connected with all the kids.  Garrett loved it!  He figured out quickly that if he acted up in school, he got to hang out with Mr. Scripture or Mr. Scripture would call me, and I’d have to come get him.

He also stopped doing his homework.  He had an experienced teacher, so she would make him sit outside of class to do it, but that didn’t really work because he’d get it done so quickly that it wasn’t really any kind of punishment.  Since he was also acting out at home, I took him into the doc again.

This time, I was starting to think maybe he did have ADHD after all.  They concurred, but they also did a sleep study since I had mentioned that he snored, and he also was diagnosed with periodic limb movement disorder (basically restless legs syndrome but it affects the arms, too) and sleep apnea.  They took out his tonsils and adenoids which helped the sleep apnea.  He took Klonopin for a while for the PLMD, too.  We saw a pediatric neurologist for a while who was trying to help us get him sleeping in his own bed, but it wasn’t working out.

I started him on meds for ADHD, and we went through several.  One seemed to help a little bit, but he was a total zombie, and he wasn’t eating at all.  Tried another that didn’t help.  Tried another that seemed to help for several months, but by then, Garrett started to hate taking pills.  Then they put him on Straterra, and that one made him suicidal.  By this time, he was in second grade.  I had a 7-year-old who was suicidal!  That was it!  I was so done!  I’d ask what to do, they’d tell me to take him to the ER, but when we got to the ER, they’d tell me he was fine.  Royally pissed me off.

Told the psychiatrist I was done doing it their way because I didn’t think he really had ADHD.  Garrett was also fed up with meds and doctors.  I told them I wanted him off meds and that I wanted him to see a therapist.  They set us up with one, and it sort of helped Garrett with anger management, but after a while, Garrett wasn’t really a willing participant, so we stopped.  Anyway, the psychiatrist also agreed to a six-week trial off meds, but then he wanted to go back to a couple of the other meds to try them as well.  His reasoning was that he was older now, so he may react differently, especially since he also weighed more and could take a higher dosage.  I agreed, but he did so well off the medications that I left him off.

That left me with my only issue of him sleeping with me.  I tried everything!  When he was 5, I took him furniture shopping and let him pick out a bed.  He chose a mid loft bed with a dresser underneath–really neat bed.  I spent another couple hundred on all new linens, a lamp, curtains….we totally made over his room.  He slept there two nights.

Tried a TV in his room to get him to go in there.  I knew it was a bad habit to get into, but I was desperate and wanted sleep myself, so I figured I’d get him into his own bed and worry about the TV issue later.  No luck.

I found some relaxation CDs on the internet.  I highly recommend them, by the way.  The woman, Lori Lite, and her husband have done several CDs and books, and they are all excellent.  I bought all the CDs, and Garrett thought they helped.  Unfortunately, they only helped for about two weeks.

I tried bribing him.  The first night he slept in his own bed, we went out the next day and bought a birthday cake to celebrate.  Didn’t last.

We tried all kinds of charts with crazy rewards.  I even went as far as telling him I’d let him get a puppy!  Didn’t work, and he wanted a puppy bad.  I ended up getting him the puppy about a year later, but it was unrelated to the sleep thing.

Then I tried a body pillow.  I bought two–one for his bed, and one for mine.  My thinking was that he could sleep with me, but with the body pillow between us.  I figured he’d get used to the body pillow, so when it came time to transition to his own bed, he’d have his own, and it would be familiar.  No luck.

Tried melatonin and Benadryl.  No luck there either.  Tried Klonopin again.  No luck.

Then I went with the furniture angle again.  He was complaining that his bed was uncomfortable.  I bought it because the mattress actually used to be mine when I was his age.  But I didn’t just want to buy him a new mattress because I needed one, so I decided to buy him a new bedroom set, give him my mattress that he was used to sleeping on, and I’d get the new mattress set.  Another total room makeover, complete with special order Minnesota Wild comforter.  Worked for 5 days.

I know I’ve forgotten stuff I’ve tried.  Believe me, I’ve tried everything.  But I’m in a fog.  I crashed hard a couple weeks ago.  I’ve missed so much work, it’s ridiculous, but I just can’t do it anymore.  You can only go so long on only 4 hours of interrupted sleep every night before it all comes crashing down.  And it crashed, boy.  Big, fiery, spectacular.  I told work that I knew I need to fill out an FMLA form, but I just couldn’t do it.  I got to the point that I could barely take care of myself, so I was going to take care of Garrett, and get this taken care of once and for all, and I just don’t care about the rest of it.  I have wonderful friends and family who will take care of me, but for now, I’m taking care of Garrett because that’s just all the energy I have.

He freaks when it’s bedtime or when there’s a storm.  And not just scared, normal little kid scared, but shaking, hyperventilating, crying so hard you think the kid is dying scared, and when he gets like that, there’s not a damn thing I can do.  I can only be there.   He is plain terrified to be in his room, and he would do absolutely anything not to be.

Anyway, my first blog post was about our July Fourth camping trip on the river.  On the way up to the marina to meet our friends, he started freaking out about leaving the dog.  I had arranged for a friend to take care of our dog, and she’s a dog lover!  I told Garrett he’d be well taken care of, but he was terrified something would happen to Buddy.  It didn’t matter what I said.  Nothing would satisfy him.  I finally got frustrated because I was trying to drive the damn car, so I told him it was just his anxiety.  He asked me what anxiety was, and I told him it was when your body was fooling you into thinking something really bad was going to happen when it really wasn’t.  He asked if I could fix it.  I told him they could fix it, but it would mean going on medication and probably some therapy.  He told me to call the doctor right then.  I told him I couldn’t because it was 6:00 and no one would be there, so he asked me to call when we got back from our trip.  I figured he’d forget about it.  Wanna know what’s crazy?  He can sleep in a tent in on the river with only thin nylon fabric protecting him from the wild with raccoons and foxes running around right outside our tent, but he can’t sleep in his house.  His OWN damn house!

Well, he didn’t forget about it, but I was so sleep deprived that I did.  I also thought it might help that he was going to spend a week at my mom’s.  It didn’t.  350 miles away and the kid still kept me up at night, calling me scared to sleep.

So I crashed hard.  I called for an appointment with the psychiatrist, but I couldn’t get him in until September 10.  I called his pediatrician, and we saw her on Tuesday.  When we saw her, she told me it looked like I needed to sleep for a week.  Ya think?  I can barely function.  I’ve bought fabric softener instead of laundry detergent, and didn’t notice until I had done a few loads.  I’ve broken a toe from stumbling around the living room in a sleepless stupor.  I’ve plain forgotten to feed Garrett for an entire day.  I’m sure he ate.  I just have no idea what, and I know I didn’t cook him anything.

So yeah…..He’s on Prozac now.  Has been for two weeks.  There’s been some minor improvement.  He no longer freaks out at night, but he has to have every damn light on in the house which means I’m still not getting any sleep, and I have basically a constant headache.  But I’m pretty sure this will help.  I think we’re on the right track.

We also made a plan to get him into his room step by step.  Like now, he’s sleeping on the couch and has the kitchen, living room, hall, and bathroom lights on.  TV, too.  He gets to do that for a week.  Then he has to turn off the living room light.  The week after that, he has to turn off the hall light.  The week after that, the bathroom light.  The week after that, he has to be in his bed with his light, the hall, and the bathroom light.  The week after that, the hall light is off.  After that, the bathroom light, and then finally in his bed with no lights.  How many weeks is that?  I’m too tired to count.

You know, I’ve always said he had anxiety, but I got brushed off or led to believe it was something else.  Even school this past year.  He had a second year teacher, and while she was nice and all, I just don’t think she was ready for Garrett.  He can be intense.  He has a ton of energy, and lots of questions.  He had some friend issues this year, and he got into trouble a lot.  Thing was, though, when he got a “major” behavior referral, half the time I either wouldn’t get the form to sign or they wouldn’t let me know.  Then I’d get a nasty phone call questioning my parenting.  Uh…..first of all, behavior modification 101, people!  You need to react right away to change the behavior.  If you tell me my kid did something two days ago, there’s not a lot I can do about it now, is there?  Besides, I told them that sending him to the assistant principal (different guy this year, but still–a football coach and huge sports fan) was a reward for Garrett, so they needed to come up with something else.  Not my fault they didn’t listen.

Now don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not one to think my precious snowflake does no wrong.  I know he does sometimes.  But I can’t fix something that happened 6 hours ago.  The other thing is major behavioral referrals throughout the whole school did nothing but increase every month throughout the school year.  I’m not saying my kid is innocent, but obviously something is not working here!

So since he was getting into trouble a lot, they kept bringing me in for conferences.  Ok…..I was seeing none of these behavior issues at home.  The only issue I had was his sleep issue.  School Age Child Care also didn’t report a thing to me.  The only place he was having an issue was at school.  They finally decided they wanted him tested for special ed.  He had graduated out in second grade because his hands were not hindering his school work.  Fine.  Test him.

Tests came back that he was above grade level in math and reading.  I knew this.  His language skills are phenomenal.  SACC, however, also decided that he was some major behavior problem, according to the form they filled out.  Uh….what?  He’s no problem at all until you get a form?  I question that!  Well, since school was also reporting all of these problems, they put him back in special ed as EBD.  What-freakin-ever.  Fine.  I’ll sign.  However, I made it very clear that I wanted them to work on conflict resolution and social issues with him since he has had a lot of issues with bullying over his hands.  I also told them that when the sleep issues are resolved, I’ll bet them anything the behavior issues will be resolved as well.  Aren’t you cranky with no sleep?  I am.  I don’t make good decisions when I’m sleep deprived either.

Wow.  That was a tangent, huh?  Anyway, so there it is.  I hope it helps someone maybe at least not feel so alone.  Thanks for making it this far!  That was a lot to read!  Feel free to comment, and I’ll respond, and if you’re looking for some great books on the subject, I recommend Tamar Chansky’s Freeing Your Child From Anxiety, and there’s a 1-2-3 Magic one out there, too, that’s pretty good, though not for sleep, but for discipline.  I also recommend Lori Lite’s relaxation CDs and books.  You can get them from her website or from Amazon.

Paid for my stuff, and off to my car I went.  Loaded up the boards, but when I went to put the plywood in, it wouldn’t fit in my car.  I knew a full sheet of plywood wouldn’t fit which is why I bought a half sheet, but I thought for sure it would fit.  Called my friend to see where she was to see if she could swing by and pick it up, but she didn’t know how long she’d be, so she asked if I’d just leave it at the service desk, and she’d get it when she was done doing her thing.

After I got off the phone with her, a nice young couple offered to help me get it into my car.  I told them there was no way, but they tried anyway.  No luck.  Went inside and explained my dilemma, but the lady said they would have to return it, and I’d have to buy it again so they could indicate it for pick up.  I didn’t really want to do that, so she offered to cut it for free since they do that.  I had to think about that for a few minutes because if you remember, I hadn’t really drawn out my plans too specifically, so I didn’t know what dimensions I’d need.  Decided I’d have them lop a foot off, and off I went.  As I was pulling out of Lowe’s, I realized I probably should have gotten two half sheets because I was thinking I would use one for the doors, but rather than turn back, I figured I’d just make another trip once I decided what the hell I was doing.

When I got home, I needed to measure how high my toilet was, how wide it was, make sure when I put it in that it wouldn’t be obstructed by the water line, and decide how much space to leave from the top of the tank to the bottom shelf.  If I needed to get into the tank, I wanted to make sure I didn’t have to move this thing full of stuff.  I started out thinking I wanted it 66 inches high, and I would make my shelves 25″ wide.  That would give me about two inches on each side of the toilet for clearance.  Decided on 8 inches of clearance for the tank, and since the top of the tank sits at about 29 1/2 inches, I called it 30 and figured out I’d only have 28 inches for shelves.  Decided I wanted 30, figuring about 10 inches between each shelf, and decided on a 68″ height.

I also noticed that if I used 1/4″ plywood for the doors, trimming them out with 1×2′s would look really funny.  Again decided it was best to just leave the doors off for now while I decide what to do.  Besides, I wouldn’t have enough wood for the doors anyway since that’s what happens when you buy wood without finalizing your plans.

So I started making my cuts.  I cut a 68″ side and a 25″ shelf from two 1×10′s, and cut the remaining shelf and top from the remaining 1×10.   Marked the bottom shelf at 38″, and I drilled the pilot holes for the top and bottom, and made my box.  That’s always the part I hate.  You absolutely positively HAVE to have a level surface to do this, or it will end up all wonky.  It might end up wonky anyway which is why I don’t usually screw everything in all the way until it’s square.  Remember how to measure for square?  You measure diagonally, and both measurements need to match.

So once I got it square, I screwed it up tight, and measured up 10″ for the next shelf, and put that in.  Did the same for the shelf after.  Now, I hadn’t planned for this, but if you do what I did, the top shelf won’t be 10″.  Know why?  You need to account for the dimensions of the shelves themselves.  Now, I wasn’t that particular, but if you are planning to put baskets on your shelves or something like that, you need to make sure they’ll fit, so take that into consideration if you do.  That means your sides will be longer/taller than 68″, and if you make the shelves much taller than that, you will either need to buy 10 foot boards instead of eights or more eights and have more scrap.

Then I decided I was going to trim the front with the 1×2′s I bought.  I cut the top and bottom trim pieces at 26 1/2″ and nailed them on with finish nails.  Then I measured between those two pieces for the sides and nailed them on, and finally, I measured for the two shelves, and nailed them.

Time to cut the plywood for the back.  Measured that out and drew cutting lines, and cut that out.  Didn’t do half bad, but the cuts weren’t perfectly straight.  Since it’s the back, I’m not going to worry about it.  To me, that’s part of the charm of homemade items.  I’m going for function anyway.  Not perfection.  The rough sand will help out some, and the paint will cover it all anyway.  Nailed the back on, and sat back and admired my work.  Was pretty impressed with myself, too, as was a neighbor who walked by. She said she wanted one, too.  I told her if she paid for the wood, I’d make her one.  If I think about it, though, I think I’d want a little extra for my time.

Oh….and about the time I started cutting I realized I didn’t bring my camera outside, so I snapped a few with my phone.  Here they are:

Cutting the wood.  See my new bar clamp?  It’s a small one, but it does what I need it to do.

Here’s the shelves cut, waiting to be assembled:

The box.  Needs trim and the back:

Trim is on!  Now it needs the back!  I think if I made more of these, I might be inclined to leave the shelves open.  It’s easier to move that way:

And here it is all ready for sanding, filling in holes, and painting.  I’ll post pics when that gets done.  I’m going with white, and I will seal it with a water-based glossy polyurethane.

So what did I learn this time?

• I learned how to adjust the blade on my saw.  Found that it’s easier to get straighter cuts if the blade only sticks out the bottom of the wood a little bit.  Like 1/4″ or so.
• I learned that a half sheet of plywood will NOT fit in my car.  Note to self:  Avoid projects that require sheet goods.
• I’d still really, really like a truck.  A small one would be fine, like a Ford Ranger or S10.  Do they still make those?
• It’s best to finalize your plans before you shop for wood.  I spent about 10 bucks on hardware I found out I don’t need.
• I CAN make something without using someone else’s plans.  I DESIGNED this myself!  Isn’t that cool?

Now it’s time for a hot bath.  I’m WIPED out!

Anyway, we were inside the bar ordering a pizza for dinner, and we saw this guy who had a shirt on that said, “100% White, 100% Proud.”  Whatever.  Then Garrett says he knows the guy.  Well, later on in the evening, Garrett was talking to him, and another friend overheard this guy telling Garrett that he is 100% white, and he should be proud of it, and that non-white people shouldn’t be here.  Uh……ok.  Really?  So I have a problem with this, obviously.

My problem isn’t that he believes that.  I can respect that.  I don’t believe it, but he’s entitled to his beliefs as I’m entitled to mine.  I think it’s racist garbage.  No….my problem with it is that he spewed this crap at my son without any regard for respecting me as a parent.  Reminded me of the time the “crazy dog lady” told my son his hands were the way they are because G-d and the devil were fighting, and the devil almost won.  If either of these yahoos had come to me and said they’d like to have a discussion about these things, I would have respectfully engaged.  We can talk about it.  I’m happy to talk about it.  I’m not trying to shield my son from differing views.  In fact, I welcome it.  It’s a great learning experience for him.  It’s a great way for me to help him think critically.  That’s a good thing.  I’d like him to think critically and form his own opinions.   But when they just start spewing this stuff when I’m not around to offer a different viewpoint, well, that’s when people think y’all are crazy.  It isn’t your beliefs.  It’s the way you go about sharing them.  It’s because you think everyone should think like you.

Everyone shouldn’t think like you.  You know what happens when everyone thinks alike?  Nothing.  Nothing great, anyway.  Every great invention or discovery is because of someone who thought differently, someone who was just crazy enough to follow their dream anyway, despite everyone else thinking they were a bit off center.  So yeah…..I think it’s great you don’t think like I do.  I like to talk to people who don’t think like I do.  Just don’t come at me with the attitude that yours is the only way.  It’s not.

Anyway, yesterday I finished up some dish towels with crocheted tops.  You know the ones that grandma had hanging from the handle on her stove or fridge?  Yeah…..those.  I make those, among other things.   I wove my yarn ends in and sewed on the buttons.  Here they are:

It’s a pile, but I like to keep stuff like that on hand for when I need a small gift.  I try to keep a stash of handmade gifts like baby blankets, hand knit bibs, dish cloths, these dish towels……and then when I have an occasion, I’m not trying to scramble to make something special.  Sometimes, though, my mom comes over and raids my stash.  She loves hand knitted dishcloths and these towels!  You know what?  I do, too!  Dishes are like the worst chore ever–all that icky food floating around in the water touching you.  YUCK!  But knitted dishcloths are very scrubby, despite their softness.

Also started working on plans for a spacesaver for Garrett’s bathroom.  Partly because I’m itching to build something else and partly because I can make what I want cheaper than what I can get it for in the stores.  I also haven’t been able to find something exactly right at Target or WalMart.  So to heck with it!  I’m just going to build it out of 1×10′s.  So that’s my project for this weekend and next week.  Again, I’ll post pics of the process and try to write some instructions since I’m doing this with no plans at all.

I thought I’d use this post to give you some examples of ways to share your skills to save time and money, something single parents are always short of!

• I let my neighbors use my wireless Internet in exchange for lawn mowing and snow removal
• I will be trading a hand crocheted photo prop for a photo session with a photographer friend
• I’ve baked cookies in exchange for changing out the blade on my lawnmower
• I’ve make a home-cooked meal in exchange for replacing the ballcock on my toilet
• I’ve cooked meals and baked treats in exchange for picking up dog poop in my yard. In fact, I’ve owned a dog for two years, and the only time I pick up poop is when I take him on a walk.
• I’ve traded dog sitting services with neighbors when we’re on vacation
• I’ve done someone else’s shopping in exchange for babysitting
• I’ve bought beer in exchange for building steps for my back door.
• I’ve brought home-cooked meals to a neighbor while she was working at the pool across the street in exchange for her watching my son.

You have skills. Other people have skills. And if you’re a single parent, you KNOW you just can’t do everything yourself. Sometimes you need help. Young, single men are a great source for some muscle, and they generally don’t cook much for themselves, so it’s easy to make a trade of a home cooked meal or some beer for a handyman job you might have.  You also have neighbors.  Get to know them!

So get out there, and be neighborly. Share the bounty of your vegetable garden or that half of the chocolate cake that you just baked. Yes, you will start out by giving of yourself, which may make you feel a bit stretched thin, but people will naturally want to give back.  You are making a deposit of love.  You will make new friends, and you will feel good.  And when you need something, you’ll be able to withdraw from your love bank.

I’ve learned a lot with these three projects!  Yes…..I can count!  This past week I made the Simple Spa Bench, and it was my best project to date!  I’ve figured out that:

1. It’s really important to have a level surface to work on
2. A saw guide of some sort is essential for getting straight cuts
3. A vise grip works great for getting stripped screws out
4. A C-clamp works great for holding your wood for you while you cut
5. Buy quality screws!  I bought cheapies, and they suck.
6. Wood filler is awesome and makes a huge difference in the finished product!
7. Take your time, and check for square OFTEN!
8. It might not look all that great when it’s put together, but finish it anyway.  It won’t look half bad.  Promise!   Wood filler, sanding, and paint or stain will do wonders!
9. I need a couple more clamps, and a finish nailer would be nice. 

So my third project was the Simple Spa Bench.  I wanted a bench for my entryway to use as a launching pad of sorts.  Somewhere to leave my keys and my purse and anything else that I want to remember to take with me when I leave.  I wanted something with some storage to keep hats and mittens in as well, and this fit the bill wonderfully.

So here’s the wood and my circular saw laid out on my picnic table–makeshift workbench.  Don’t really recommend using a picnic table because it isn’t level, but since I don’t have a garage, this works for me. 

I started out making all the cuts.  I had bought a saw guide from Fleet Farm, but when I opened it, I realized it was for edge cutting and wasn’t really going to work for the cross cutting I was going to do.  Then I remembered a trick I read on the internet about clamping your square to the wood to use as a saw guide!  I only have one C-Clamp, though, so thankfully my neighbor has all kinds of tools and lent me another clamp.  Now, I should tell you, in this picture, I have the square clamped to the left side of where my saw goes, and I found that it works a lot better to put it on the right.

So I got the cuts all made, and they were pretty straight!  I will say I would like a bigger square.  Anyway, here’s the wood all cut and ready to be assembled:

So now it’s time to make the box.  This, for me, is one of the hardest parts.  I need to find a way to make this easier.  For now, I have just been using some of the other wood I’m not currently assembling to hold my box in place while I screw.  I haven’t really taken time to research this, so if you know a good way to do this, please comment on this post! 

Anyway, after you assemble the box, you need to make sure to check for square.  This means you measure diagonally both ways, and both measurements need to match.  If they don’t, your bench or whatever else you are making will be wobbly.  Here’s my box:

Yeah….ignore those pencil marks.  I was measuring where to put the bottom shelf, but wasn’t paying attention and measured on the shelf.  So then I put the legs and the trim on.  I was amazed at how well these fit!  It was soooo much better than when I made the bookshelf! 

Notice that right corner?  Yeah….my boards were cupped a bit.  Not a huge deal because the top will go over that and cover it, but it is ideal to have straight boards, so take the time to check for it when you buy your boards!  And here it is all ready for wood filler and sanding:

See?  Don’t even notice that right corner anymore. 

Today I sanded the bench, and I was in a ZONE!  I started right after breakfast, and got done around 4.  I started with a rough sand with a random orbital sander, then did a medium grit hand sand, and finished with a fine grit.  Put one coat of Minwax dark walnut on it, and here she is, ready for the poly!

Need to pick up some baskets to put underneath, and when I get the poly on and the baskets, I’ll post a picture of the bench in its natural habitat!

See, drag shows are about acceptance.  They aren’t trying to push their beliefs onto you or flaunt their sexuality.  They aren’t trying to make you think like they do or trying to gain special rights and privileges.  They are only being who they are and sharing that with others.  What a precious gift!

I see my son in those performers, as well.  My son is 9 and likely as straight as an arrow, though I think he’d make a beautiful drag queen, but some call him handicapped.  Those people aren’t seeing them with their hearts.  I feel sorry for them.  Most of them will probably never “get it.”  No..he wants acceptance, too.  He doesn’t want to be the kid with short arms who can do lots of stuff anyway.  He just wants to be Garrett and have people love him and accept him for who he is.  My heart breaks for him when they don’t.

Here are some tips to make your bank account like grocery shopping just a little bit better.  Well, maybe not like it…..how about not running screaming the other direction?

Grocery ads typically come out on Tuesdays, and the ads run Wednesday through Tuesday.  I’ve found that if you shop Tuesday night, you get the prices for both ads.  The only think you can’t do is use Wednesday’s store coupons on Tuesday.

Check out the ads and plan your meals around what’s on sale.  Sales typically run in 8- to 12-week cycles, though sometimes there are more sales on dairy items, for example, during Dairy month (June).  May is good for meat to kick off grilling season.  Some people keep a price book where they track prices so they can see when the price of an item is at its lowest.  This is the time to stock up on the item.

There are a couple of tricks to really save on your grocery bill, and that is not to just shop for the week, but to buy items at their lowest cost.  Now, don’t go all hog wild and buy 47 tubes of toothpaste or 25 pounds of potatoes unless you are going to go through them!  No…..the trick is to buy enough at the lowest price to get you through to the next sale cycle, so 8-12 weeks. You may not need 8 boxes of Jiffy corn bread mix this week, but when you need another box two weeks from now, you won’t have to pay regular price because it will already be in your pantry.  Ha!  Take that!

The other trick is to use coupons.  You can use both a store coupon AND a manufacturer’s coupon, and this is called stacking.  Funny thing about coupons…..they don’t seem like they amount to much, but the trick there is NOT to use them right away.  I’ve noticed the things in the coupon inserts generally go on sale in the stores about 4 weeks after the coupon comes out.  My goal every time I go shopping is to use so many coupons that the manager has to come and approve it ($10 worth of coupons–easy peasy).  The cashier generally thinks I’m nuts, but that’s okay.  I already know I am.

What this means is say you have a coupon for $1 two packages of cookies.  It expires in about 5-6 weeks.  Chances are those cookies will go on sale in about 4 weeks.  Let’s say regular price is $2.99.  They go on sale 2 for $4.  You use that coupon you’ve been hanging onto, and they become 2 for $3, which makes them half price.

Now, I need to tell you at first it will seem like you are spending more money.  You will be.  It will take about 3 months of keeping at it before you really see the savings, but trust me on this one.  Keep at it.  I’ve gotten my grocery bill down at least 50% by doing this, and I’m not one of those crazy coupon ladies.  You’ll be spending more money because at first you’ll still have to buy regular stuff you need for the week, but after a few weeks of doing this, you’ll be accumulating stuff in your pantry.  Pretty soon, you’ll be the one in the neighborhood who always has stuff on hand for a great meal, the place all your neighbors want to come if there’s a disaster.

The poo poo-ers will say they don’t eat all that processed crap.  Yes….a lot of coupons ARE for processed stuff, but let’s be real, here.  I’ve used coupons for milk, meat, eggs, veggies, fruit……you don’t eat that stuff?  My family does.

Another trick to saving on your grocery bill is to buy meat in bulk and repackage it into meal sized portions.  I’ve had cashiers ask me where all my other kids are, and when I tell them it’s only the two of us, they look at me like I have three heads.  Well, yes…I DO buy the bulk pack of 10 pork chops or three whole chickens if they’re a great price.  It’s called a freezer, people.  Just takes a tiny bit of work to package up 10 pork chops into 5 meals.

Some great sources for coupon info, if you really want to go pro is to check out The Grocery Game or Hot Coupon World.  Those ladies really know their stuff and would be happy to help you out!

I’ll post more soon with other tips.  Keep checking back!

Thursday evening, I got the coolers packed, and Garrett and I headed to Wabasha to meet our friends, Bruce and Michelle, at Parkside Marina.  We got there about 6:30, and I texted Michelle that we were on the dock ready to load.  She replied that they had just turned into the marina and would be there shortly.  After about half an hour, I saw Michelle walking, and she told us Tin Lizzy (their pontoon) had died at the mouth of the marina, and Bruce was waiting for us at the gas dock.  We loaded everything back into my car and drove to the other side.

We got everything out of the car, and as we were carrying everything down to the dock, we noticed an older woman sitting on her 50-foot houseboat drinking a whiskey and water.  On our last trip, Michelle and I noticed she was lying on her boat, so we asked if she was all right.  Turns out she fell while trying to bring her little wagon up onto the boat.  We got the wagon up there for her, helped her up, and made sure she was okay.

We sat in the marina for a little over an hour while Bruce tried to get the boat started.  He concluded he needed to charge the battery, so he hauled that back up to his truck and charged it.  After he brought it back, it still wouldn’t do anything, so we tried to walkie talkie to our friend Jason to come and tow us.  No response there, so we had to call and text everyone with a phone to get someone to come and give us a tow.  While waiting, I learned that when Bruce and Michelle put in on Tuesday, they had to replace the fuel filter on the boat, and the Jetski was taking on water.  I figured this was the little adventure that comes with every river trip.  Oh, how wrong I was!

Jason towed us to the sandbar, and they had picked an awesome spot!  It used to be a cove before the Army Corps of Engineers filled it in a bit.  They left a pond, but there was a great big flat area and a wooded area that was perfect for the camp potty.  The trees also provided shade until about noon.  It was awesome!

They helped me put my tent up in the dark, and we grilled hamburgers.  Ate around 10, BS’d around the fire, and went to bed.

The next morning, Bruce and Jason figured out the pontoon wouldn’t start because of a broken ground wire.  Spliced it up, and it worked fine.  The wind was horrible that day, so we couldn’t put up the canopy for shade, and there was definitely no tubing or wakeboarding for the kids.  That afternoon, a few people tried to park their boats in between ours, so just as a precaution, we set up Josh and Kristina’s tent to make it look more crowded.  Late that afternoon, Josh called to say they were at the marina ready to be picked up.  We pushed off shore, and Tin Lizzy started right up.  Bruce put her in reverse and pointed her up river, but when he put her in forward, nothing.  Reverse again-nothing.  He pulled up the motor, and there was no prop.
We pulled the boat back up to shore and started wading and diving looking for the prop.  Daniel (Michelle’s youngest) borrowed Hailey’s (Jason’s youngest–Garrett’s age) goggles and started diving.  Suddenly, he came up and headed straight for shore as fast as I’ve ever seen him go.  Turns out there was a catfish with a head the size of his right next to him.  Bruce and Michelle borrowed Jason’s Baja and picked up Josh and Kristina, and we decided we had better set the alarm for 8 to start making phone calls since marinas tend to close at noon on Saturdays.  Had to find a prop, since Bruce’s old one didn’t fit, and neither did Jason’s.

Friday night we enjoyed a nice dinner of chili and cornbread, and while we were sitting there, Josh noticed Garrett drinking a Code Red.  He got up and said, “I’m taking a Code Red from your cooler.”  After a look of shock at his rudeness, I replied, “Uh..one.  Then you need to ask next time because that was really rude.”  He took two.  Asshole.

Then another campsite about 100 feet down started lighting off fireworks.  We walked down to warn them because we had gotten fined last year.  The guy said they had been doing it for 19 years, so he wasn’t worried.  It wasn’t 15 minutes later we saw 3 DNR boats looking for a place to pull up.  I started walking down to shore because the beach they were headed to appeared to be open from where they were, but there were actually two big logs that they wouldn’t see until it was too late.  I was hoping to wave them over a bit, but then another group lit off some fireworks across the river, so they took off to get them.  We all headed to our tents, but I wasn’t quite ready to sleep, so I just laid there watching the water for a while.  Saw Josh digging in my coolers and take a few more cans of pop to their tent.  Now, I normally wouldn’t mind sharing, but he is a rude, selfish, a-hole, and I’m sure he figured I’d blame Garrett for the missing pop.
A few minutes later, I hear Colin (Bruce’s middle child) calling out Daniel’s name from the potty, and he sounded scared.  The potty was up in the woods a ways, but it isn’t like Colin to be scared of much since he’s been going on river trips his whole life.  I was about to grab my lantern to go see what was up, but then both boys came running down to the tents.  Turns out they were chasing a coon bigger than my beagle.  Stopped him before he got to our coolers, and the boys chased him away and put logs on top of our food.

Saturday morning, Michelle and I got up about 7, made coffee, and started calling marinas for a prop.  Called two in Alma, two in Winona, Lake City, two in Wabasha, Hastings, Red Wing, Oronoco..no one had one, or they were closed for the weekend.  The head service guy in Alma called us back and said he had one that might work so to bring the boat on down.  Well, we didn’t want to waste the gas to tow the whole damn boat, so they took the shaft off and headed to Alma.  $220 later, they came back with a prop and put it on Tin Lizzy.

About this time, a huge group of people came traipsing through our campsite to swim in the pond.  Their little dog kept sniffing over by our food, trying to get into our coolers, and paunchy, middle-aged guy came up and started eyeing the jetski, even though we were sitting in the pontoon for shade 10 feet away.  Asked if we could help him, and he said he was “just looking.”  Oh really?  Well, you need to keep your dog away from our food.  They left.  Thankfully, they took their glass bottles with them.  You know..the ones you aren’t supposed to have.

About that time, Donnie (Jason’s wife) informed us of a storm coming about midnight.  They said they were leaving Sunday instead of Monday.  Bruce, Michelle, and I discussed it, and Bruce wanted to ride out the storm Saturday night and leave sometime Sunday.  He went to Jason and Donnie’s boat to talk to them about the plans, and Michelle and I decided that since the prop hadn’t been tested yet, we were leaving when Jason and Donnie were.  The wind and water was brutal, and we didn’t want to be stuck waiting for a tow.  After a bit more dicussion, we decided we’d take the Baja, the jetski, and the pontoon packed with all our gear back to the marina, make dinner on the sandbar, and then leave that night.

We started picking up the campsite, taking down the tents, and loading the gear on the boats.  Josh took down his tent only and sat on his ass while the rest of us all helped each other out.  Notice I said he only took down his tent.  He didn’t even carry it to shore for it to be loaded on the boat.  By this time, all of us were pissed at him.  I told Michelle I wouldn’t be going on any river trips he came on.  She told me it was his last river trip.  A few minutes later, I walked over to help Bruce condense and empty some of the coolers, and he told me it was Josh’s last river trip.  LOL  So we’re all in agreement, then.
So the pontoon is loaded, and the jetski is tied to the back, ready to be towed, and they head up river with Jason following behind in the Baja.  About 45 minutes later, I get a text saying Lizzy got passed by a barge and then died, so Jason was towing them to the marina.  I was to pack up everything, and they would be back to get us as soon as they could.  We packed everything up, and Danielle (Daniel’s girlfriend) panicked because she didn’t think she’d be able to get on the Baja or Jason’s 26-foot cabin cruiser.  Danielle is 5’4″ and 360 pounds.  I told her not to worry.  She’d ride in the Baja with Bruce and the gear, and the rest of us would ride in the cabin cruiser.   About 3 hours later, they came back for us, and we went home.

Things I learned:

1. Do not buy a Suzuki outboard because no one ever has any parts for them
2. Do not wear goggles in the Mississippi River unless you are prepared to crap your pants
3. Josh is an asshole.  I knew this already, but it has been confirmed.
4. I am done camping for the summer unless Bruce and Michelle get all their watercraft sold and a new pontoon bought.
5. BioBlue is the bomb for camping potties!  It doesn’t smell like roses, but I don’t gag and wretch either.  Yay!